How can I stop my best friend from doing something I've contemplated at least a dozen times?
I don't even see the point of posting this on my blog that I haven't been on since September, but I just need to get this out of my system. I have no idea if this will actually end up helping anyone, but it's worth a shot.
I try to give my best advice and I try to help as much as I can...but I don't know how much I'm helping and it's killing me. I just keep thinking that I'm making things worse and I don't think I could live with myself if I actually did make things worse.
All I know is that if things turn south...I don't think I would be able to keep going. This person has helped me through so much and the only reason I haven't done something stupid is because I want to be as strong as they've been. They are my inspiration to get out of bed everyday...Seeing their face is pretty much the only thing that makes me smile - I mean, really smile. Not that fake ass smile I put on everyday for my other friends and family. And the fact that they are in such a dark place and I can do nothing to help...
This is making me sound like I'm in love with the person. I'm not. Not in love, although I do love them. They are probably the best friend I've ever had. I can tell them anything about me without judgement or disgust. I need more people like them in my life.
The point is I need this person. I need this person to be okay. It might be for selfish reasons, but I can't live without this person and I just need them to understand that. I need to know if I'm helping them at all...even a little would make me feel more at ease.
