Not sure what to do...

How can you possibly help save someone when you can't save yourself? 

How can I stop my best friend from doing something I've contemplated at least a dozen times?

I don't even see the point of posting this on my blog that I haven't been on since September, but I just need to get this out of my system. I have no idea if this will actually end up helping anyone, but it's worth a shot. 

I try to give my best advice and I try to help as much as I can...but I don't know how much I'm helping and it's killing me. I just keep thinking that I'm making things worse and I don't think I could live with myself if I actually did make things worse. 

All I know is that if things turn south...I don't think I would be able to keep going. This person has helped me through so much and the only reason I haven't done something stupid is because I want to be as strong as they've been. They are my inspiration to get out of bed everyday...Seeing their face is pretty much the only thing that makes me smile - I mean, really smile. Not that fake ass smile I put on everyday for my other friends and family. And the fact that they are in such a dark place and I can do nothing to help...

This is making me sound like I'm in love with the person. I'm not. Not in love, although I do love them. They are probably the best friend I've ever had. I can tell them anything about me without judgement or disgust. I need more people like them in my life.

The point is I need this person. I need this person to be okay. It might be for selfish reasons, but I can't live without this person and I just need them to understand that. I need to know if I'm helping them at all...even a little would make me feel more at ease. 

So this happened today...

Not 20 minutes ago, I broke myself.

I was walking outside with my friend and I turned around and BOOM my knee popped. Now I'm hobbling around in pain and sadness because I can't go home.

My best friend The Awesome thinks I'm an idiot. Which I am.

This is why I don't run anymore. I hurt myself walking. I'm awesome.

So now I'm sitting in Drama with ice on my knee holding back tears of pain because I'm broken as fuck.

Just thought you all should know.

Tired but not tired...

I finally finished my homework, woohoo!! So now I'm super sleepy, but I'm not at the same time and I don't know what my body is doing to me...

Anywho, my day today was fabulous, other than the fact that it was cold as balls and I had to stand outside for an hour watching my school's Cross Country team run...It's not as awesome as you'd think.

On the bright side, I got McDonald's which made my day. God, I'm a fat ass, but you know, YOLO and shit.

After eating a lot of french fries and chicken nuggets, I went to Sally's Beauty Supply with my lovely mother and bought fire-truck red hair dye. I'm so excited, it isn't even funny. Now I just have to dye my hair this weekend, possibly go get mah eyebrows done, and buy a homecoming dress that matches my red hair...

If I'm even going to homecoming...my past two have been just a bad and sad experience, partly because I'm lonely and no one will ever love me. I'm too socially awkward to be allowed at school dances...hell, I'm too socially awkward to be allowed in public. Ever. I'm too creepy.

But it is my Junior year and I only have two more homecomings, including this one, so I might as well go.

But at this rate, I will not have had a single date to a dance my entire high school career. So far, that's been the case and with the way I act around attractive males, that's the way it shall stay.

My friends need to teach me to be normal...although they aren't really all that normal themselves (I mean, you have to be crazy as fuck to be friends with me).

On an entirely different note, YAY FALL! I'm so happy that it's actually becoming Fall weather because I love wearing sweaters, it's my favorite. I'm going on a shopping spree at Goodwill and buying so many sweaters, it shall be fabulous.

Well, it's 10:00 and I should go to bed because I almost fell asleep in history today and that's a big no-no.

Hurah, hurah.

Sweet Baby Jesus on a Popsicle Stick!

It has recently been brought to my attention by my dear friend Max that I haven't been on my blog in a very long time. Blame tumblr.

So, I shall attempt to make this a daily sort of thing because I honestly have nothing better to do with my life! Yay, pathetic me!

Right now I'm in Drama class and I never thought I'd hear myself saying this, but I just want to leave and shoot myself in the face. I love acting and I love Drama, but I hate this teacher because she doesn't know anything. Like, anything. And I'm angry. And angsty. And teenagery and aslfjc.vgkjelkrjffklj keyboard smash.

On the bright side, class is almost over, as is the school day. Then, I have Cross Country and then home and tumblr and yay.

Oh, in case you all were wondering, I've become a terrible fangirl who does nothing other than cry over celebrities on tumblr and facebook and probably this now as well.
I apologize in advance. Run while you can.

Anywho, that's about it for today. Peace and Hannah lovins! Yay!

Sorry...

I completely forgot to blog yesterday! I got home from The Awesome's house and I just passed out (after playing video games for about three hours). So, this blog is me talking about what I should have talked about yesterday. :D

Well, my dream the other night was extremely awful...I dreamed that I was blogging. Sad, right? You know you're addicted when you start dreaming about blogging. On the upside, my blog was freaking amazing! I was blogging about fighting dragons, which is pretty damn awesome. (:

On a completely different note, Children of the Corn is far less scary when you're not five. The blood looks like paint and it's hilarious. Watching Children of the Corn in a creepy ass house, on the other hand, is terrifying. The Awesome's house is just scary, even in daylight. I mean, who has ever heard of a freaking ghost walking through the house in daylight? No one, that's who.

Oh, and if you ever find yourself watching the movie Grave Encounters, stop it. It's awful. It's like a really fake Ghost Adventures. No me gusta.

Anywho, that's about all I did yesterday. Until next time (which is going to be about 8:00 PM (: )

Stay panted (:

I Kinda Suck...

At Wii games...I was playing some games with The Awesome, and we both kinda suck. Especially at Mario Bros., which is like the easiest most simple game ever. That just goes to show how terrible I am at video games, despite my love of them.

Along with sucking with at Mario Bros., I really suck at Wii Resorts. I got powned so bad it isn't even funny. Except for at wake boarding, which I find really hilarious.

Not only did the two of us discover that we are awful at life, we also discovered that Subway is magical after midnight 18...Yes. It's no longer 12:18, it's midnight 18. Deal with it.

So, with that magical conclusion, we should just eat at midnight.

Well, I'm done rambling! Happy Saturday!

Stay panted :D 

I Couldn't Help Myself...

I think I'm addicted guys...already. Even though there's only one follower at the moment, I'm gonna call you guys 'guys'. Or guy. Or chick, because the person following me (The Awesome) is in fact, a chick. I think...

So, I pretty much have nothing to talk about, but that's gonna happen a lot on this blog! It is called Hannah Rambles, so it's appropriate for me to...ramble.

Pretty sure I was going to talk about something super duper important, but I forgot. Oh well!!

Anyways, hope this hasn't been a complete waist of your time! Only a little waist of your time.

Stay panted :D